The Physicist

The Physicist

So let me start by talking about my favorite girl friend. She is the best "fruit fly" a gay man could want. Likes to shop with me and will actually help me look at stuff and not just model heels, but she does that well too. She is a book editor transitioning into a job in communications for a fab private school. She has an MFA in Poetry from one of the top schools in the country. We talk clothes and books and politics and boys. Her husband is a physicist. Really. He works on particle physics experiments exploring the origins of the universe. They seem an odd couple on paper, but once you meet them you can see how well suited they really are.

So I met these folks through friends from work. They all played ultimate frisbee. I have never even been to a game myself, but through these work friends I am somehow connected to the SoCal frisbee posse. So MFA and Physicist live a happy scientific literary frisbee SoCal existence.

The interesting thing is Mr. Physicist is a hero in more ways than one. He certainly is MFA's hero and he is super gay friendly in ways I will describe below, but he has a patience for something at a level I never thought a straight man could. You see, Mr. Physicist is hot. Like tall and strong and "I will do whatever you want" hot. Now, he does not have that "I am hot attitude," in fact he is very modest. He does have the patience though to put up with gaggles of gay boys drooling over him. Inevitably when I have brought gay friends to events at their place, they all want to chat with him, look at him, undress him with their eyes. Some have been shameless about it to the point where I have told them to dial it back. Mr. Physicist does not say a word or even react much, he just shrugs it all off. Shrugs it off and makes cocktails.

In other ways Mr. Physicist is a gay hero as well. He certainly had no problem accepting my boyfriend as part of our group, even putting up with off color gay jokes and inappropriate references to penises. He was also very supportive when we separated, listening with MFA to my tales of woe and being there to mix another drink or simply offer a kind word. Mr. Physicist will be the first to crack a great gay joke and is the only straight guy I know who was gay heckled on the street (ironically at an event related to a straight wedding) and just rolled with it.

Since my breakup I have spent more time with MFA and Mr. Physicist that before. Even spending Valentines Day dinner with the couple at their house. I don't know how many straight guys would want the gay friend over for dinner on Valentines Day. He is always welcoming and warm and even when the conversation gets a little too gay, just rolls with it. I have even brought over the top gay men (think Jack from Will & Grace but more) to events and he has no trouble joking along, brushing off the eye humping and mixing everyone another drink.

So for being more than just accepting. For truly living inclusively, Mr. Physicist is a gay hero.